Fairy Tale Fun
by The Lonely Dreaming Furry
Summary: a fun play my drama class put on no badmouthing and have fun
1. Cinderella

Cinderella the Actual Events

Have fun

Starring:

Kangaroo Motherfucking Jack as The Prince

LydeaBlaze as Cinderella

Nyra as Ugly Stepsister #1

Elanore as Ugly Stepsister #2

Papa Bear as The Ugly Stepfather

Scar as the Town Messenger

DROP as the Fairy Godmother

Texan Jesus: like once upon a time there was like a girl and her parents died and she got stuck with her shitty step family. This is what happened.

Nyra: Cinderella do my washing.

Elanore: and my ironing.

LydeaBlaze: fuck no do it yourselves.

Papa Bear: CINDERELLA!

LydeaBlaze: what?

Papa Bear: do what your sisters say.

LydeaBlaze: or what?

Axe flies by narrowly missing LydeaBlaze's head.

LydeaBlaze: _fine_.

Knock on the Door

Papa Bear: door bitch.

LydeaBlaze: asshole.

Axe flies by embedding in the wall

LydeaBlaze: would stop throwing those it scares people.

Scar: not getting younger here.

LydeaBlaze: coming.

LydeaBlaze opens door.

LydeaBlaze: What_?_

Scar: hear ye hear ye the prince is looking for a wife all maidens are to attend The Ball tonight at The Palace.

LydeaBlaze slams door in Scar's face.

Scar: ow my nose I don't get paid enough for this.

LydeaBlaze: sweet I can get out of this hell-hole.

LydeaBlaze: YO DAD!

Papa Bear: what bitch?

LydeaBlaze: can I go to the Ball?

Papa Bear: no.

LydeaBlaze: but...

Papa Bear: no you're too ugly also you don't have anything to wear.

LydeaBlaze: shit.

Nyra: Papa..

Elanore: can _we _go to the Ball.

Papa Bear: of course.

LydeaBlaze: oh come on.

Papa Bear: shut your trap bitch.

Later...

Papa Bear: come on girls we're going to be late.

Nyra: coming Papa.

Elanore: coming.

Papa Bear: see ya bitch don't destroy the house.

Papa Bear Nyra and Eleanor leave slamming the door behind them.

LydeaBlaze god I hate them.

LydeaBlaze: I can't believe I'm about to do this.

LydeaBlaze: DROP GET YOUR FAT ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS TO THE MOON.

DROP appears.

DROP: what?

LydeaBlaze: get me to The Ball.

DROP: how?

LydeaBlaze: I don't know magic a pumpkin and some mice or rats.

DROP: why do you want to go The Ball?

LydeaBlaze: what do you think? Magic me a dress too.

DROP: what's in it for me?

LydeaBlaze: I'll give you a brick.

DROP: done.

DROP magic's up a carriage a dress and some coachmen.

DROP: be back by midnight or else everything will go back the way it was.

LydeaBlaze: yeah yeah.

LydeaBlaze rides off to The Ball and arrives at a raging Disco.

LydeaBlaze: wow should have seen this coming.

Scar: welcome to the ball...I know you.

LydeaBlaze: no you don't.

Scar: whatever enjoy the Ball...Disco...whatever.

LydeaBlaze: sweet now where's the prince.

Kangaroo Jack: so then I was like mate couldn't marry my grandmother let alone me...who's the beautiful chick who just walked in?

LydeaBlaze: 1 don't call me a chick and 2 my name is um...Mary.

Kangaroo Jack: sweet dance me Mary.

LydeaBlaze: okay.

Nyra: but you were going to dance with me.

Elanore: no me.

Kangaroo Jack: fuck off both of you I'm dancing with Mary.

Papa Bear: you don't tell my daughters to fuck off.

Kangaroo Jack: I'm prince and I'll do what I want.

Kangaroo Jack and LydeaBlaze start dancing.

Bell tolls midnight.

LydeaBlaze: shit got to go.

Kangaroo Jack: but...

LydeaBlaze: here.

LydeaBlaze chucks slipper and runs off.

Kangaroo Jack: aww...I still have the slipper.

Opening of the Circe of Life starts playing.

Kangaroo Jack: whoever fits this shoe I shall marry...providing she's not ugly or a whore.

Scar: Way to go there are hundreds of maidens in this country and you're going to your true love by putting a shoe on every maiden.

Kangaroo Jack: no that's your job.

Scar: shit.

Later…..

Nyra: I can't believe that princesses who was dancing with The Prince.

Elanore: she is such a whore.

Papa Bear: I agree The Prince should have danced with me.

LydeaBlaze: I disagree you're all a bunch of assholes.

Papa Bear: CINBERELLA HOW DARE YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM BEFORE I KICK YOU THERE!

LydeaBlaze: I don't have a room you make me sleep in the fireplace.

Axe flies by narrowly missing LydeaBlaze's head.

LydeaBlaze: going.

Doorbell rings.

Papa Bear: door bitch.

LydeaBlaze opens door.

LydeaBlaze: what?

Scar: hear ye hear ye The Prince is here.

Kangaroo Jack: thank Hell this is the last house you first.

Nyra: yes my Prince.

Nyra tries the slipper but it doesn't fit.

Nyra: oh shit.

Kangaroo Jack: oh well next.

Elanore tries shoe but the shoe doesn't fit.

Elanore: fuck.

Papa Bear: me next.

Kangaroo Jack: O-O

Papa Bear: what I happen to enjoy a man's compony.

Papa Bear tries shoe but it breaks.

Kangaroo Jack: thank god….wait it damn any other maidens?

Papa Bear: no.

LydeaBlaze: oy dickheads.

Kangaroo Jack wolf whistles.

LydeaBlaze: shut up you I've got the other slipper.

LydeaBlaze pulls out the other slipper.

Kangaroo Jack: awesome now my dad can quit bitching about me finding a husband.

LydeaBlaze: you mean wife right?

Kangaroo Jack: yeah.

Papa Bear: and you think I'm going to let you after all we've done for you?

Elanore: papa they already left.

Nyra: shit.

Papa Bear it's alright we still have Elanore to do her jobs.

Elanore: what?

Papa Bear: it about time you showed some backbone.

Elanore: aw man.

Texan Jesus: all they all lived happily ever after LydeaBlaze got a divorce soon after the wedding and the ugly stepfamily were imprisoned at The Prince's request the end.

Authors note: no copyright intended no bad mouthing LydeaBlaze is property of LydeaBlaze as is Elanore.


	2. The Three Bears

The Three Bears

No badmouthing or nasty reviews LydeaBlaze is owned by LydeaBlaze all copyright to owner and a **warning** to all who read this it will get dark at the end just an experiment trying to write dark and spooky stuff.

Have fun and don't go to sleep. Wolf

:)

Papa Bear: this porridge is too hot.  
Baby Bear: fuck this porridge.

Mama Bear: you dumb ass-fuckers I haven't made it yet.

Papa Bear: hurry up.

Baby Bear: hooray for the collapse of civilization.

Mama Bear put down three bowls of porridge.

Mama Bear: there now eat up before Oldylocks eats it.

Papa Bear: THIS PORRIDGE IS TOO HOT.

Mama Bear: shut up Harold for fucks sake anyone would think this is FartKnockers.

Baby Bear: I wanna go for a walk…..NOW!

Mama Bear: why of course my darling.

Mama Bear puts on Military helmet.

Mama Bear: all right you cock sucking wankers we're going for a walk any questions?

Papa Bear puts up his paw.

Mama Bear: yes Harold.

Papa Bear: can I bring my rifle?

Mama Bear: your rifle….why?

Papa Bear: bear hunting.

Baby Bear: but Daddy you fuck headed asshole we're bears. (giggles)

Mama Bear: aren't you cute my little cupcake.

Baby Bear: (demonic voice) I shall tear you limb from limb and hot acid down your throat. (Normal voice) I love you mummy.

The Three Bears leave for their walk….but Harold left the door unlocked.

Meanwhile

Oldylocks and LydeaBlaze are walking through the Deep Dark Actually Not That Bad Woods.

LydeaBlaze: remind me why I'm here again?

Oldylocks: _because _Kangaroo Jack told me that if I fucked off he'd give a map to an awesome abandoned Crib.

LydeaBlaze: like the time that he told Scotty that all the worlds' hair gel had ejected into space.

Oldylocks: but the map looks real.

LydeaBlaze swipes map off Oldylocks.

Oldylocks: hey give that back.

LydeaBlaze: you dumbass Bimbo this is a blank sheet of paper.

Oldylocks: no way he said it was in invisible ink.

LydeaBlaze: and he me he had a condo in Texas.

Oldylocks: (awed voice) _really_?

LydeaBlaze facetrees.

Oldylocks: that must have hurt are you okay?

LydeaBlaze: do you know the way out?

Oldylocks: way out….I thought _you_ knew the way out.

LydeaBlaze: why in the name of Glaux did you con me into this?]

Oldylocks: DROP burnt down your house.

LydeaBlaze: and….

Oldylocks: I told you where you could crash for a few days till Scotty got over his injuries.

LydeaBlaze: how could I be so stupid?

Livingston: I ask myself that all the time.

Oldylocks: arrrrrrgh a Lion.

LydeaBlaze kicks Livingston in the Kiwis.

Oldylocks: oh my.

Livingston: ow….why do they always go for the Kiwis?

Juliet: Romeo….Romeo…where ever art my Romeo?

Romeo: I'm right here I'm a fucking ghost.

LydeaBlaze: moving on.

Shere Khan: and so our three completely flat chested heroes find a cottage in the Woods.

LydeaBlaze: we…I am not flat chested you Fagaerteer.

Shere Khan: and you're just lame.

LydeaBlaze: is that the best comeback you got.

Oldylocks: come on LB the doors unlocked.

LydeaBlaze: call me that again and I'll get DROP to burn down your house.

Oldylocks: fine come on.

Oldylocks and LydeaBlaze enter the Three Bears cottage.

Oldylocks spies three bowls of porridge.

Oldylocks: look free porridge.

LydeaBlaze maybe we shouldn't.

Oldylocks eats all the porridge.

LydeaBlaze: this place seems lived in.

Oldylocks: they probably left in a hurry.

LydeaBlaze: can we sit down I'm sick of walking?

Oldylocks: sure look three conveniently placed chairs.

LydeaBlaze okay this place is lived in for sure.

Oldylocks: you're thinking about this too much.

Oldylocks and LydeaBlaze sit down on two of the largest chairs.

Oldylocks smashes the other chair.

LydeaBlaze: what did you do that for?

Oldylocks: make it look like a break in.

LydeaBlaze you said this place was abandoned.

Oldylocks: did I come on lets go upstairs.

Door handle rattles.

Oldylocks: oh shit upstairs.

LydeaBlaze and Oldylocks run upstairs and Oldylocks hides under the covers of the smallest bed. LydeaBlaze however hides under the middle bed.

Mama Bear: Harold I told you to lock the door Oldylocks could be in our house.

Papa Bear: bullshit she is so dumb she wouldn't be able to find this house.

The Three Bears see their porridge has been eaten.

Papa Bear: (roaring) SOMEONE HAS BEEN EATING OUR PORRIDGE.

Mama Bear runs into the sitting room.

Mama Bear: someone has been sitting on our chairs and broken Baby's chair.  
Baby Bear: (demonic voice) she will be impaled on a church steeple and let for the maggots.

Baby Bear starts crying.

Papa Bear stomps upstairs.

Papa Bear: SOMEONE HAS BEEN SLEEPING IN OUR BEDS AND HERE SHE IS.

The other Bears run upstairs to join Papa Bear.

Oldylocks: oh shit oh crap.

Baby Bear: (demonic voice) you shall die tonight Oldylocks and we shall feast on your flesh.

Mama Bear: (demonic voice) yes and my husband shall do horrible things to your body.

Papa Bear: (demonic voice) tonight we feast.

LydeaBlaze: fuck this I'm out of here.

LydeaBlaze jumps out window as Oldylocks's screams fill the night.

Shere Khan: so Oldylocks was raped and impaled on a church steeple and left for the maggots the Bears lived safe in the knowledge that Oldylocks was dead Baby Bear was never seen again apparently Mama Bear had a miscarriage and that they had been living with a ghost of their son. Papa died shortly after the proceeding events of alcohol poisoning and Mama Bear committed suicide.

The end


End file.
